


The Beautiful Dancing Dust

by anemic_cinema



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michonne won't allow herself to be weak, but Andrea will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beautiful Dancing Dust

The bathroom was just four poured concrete walls, with a chemical toilet, a sink that no longer worked, and a mirror covered in scratches and old graffiti. There was a small window that let the tiniest amount of light in. The light that did stream in cut clear across the shadows all golden-like, and if Michonne focused her eyes on it, she would see the particles of dust floating within it. 

She'd told Andrea she'd be back in a few minute. She was timing herself, knowing full well that being gone too long would raise alarm in her companion. The blonde already had looked uneasy at the prospect of having to hold onto the pets. She said she didn't like the way they looked at her. 

A few minutes was all Michonne would allow herself. She presented a strong front, standing unbowed in the face of the horrors that now defined her life. As long as her head was held high and her back was strong, she could survive. 

Her hands were gripping the edge of the sink. Tremors were shaking her from inside out.

Andrea wasn't as strong as her. She still cried sometimes at night, mourning the dead that she'd known and fearful of the ones that she didn't. Michonne didn't allow herself the chance to cry. Not anymore. She'd cried for days after losing her boyfriend. She'd been stilled by grief when she lost her son. But the only way to survive was to move beyond that and ignore the tears when they tried to slip loose.

Her breathing was echoing in the bathroom. It sounded high pitched and not like her, even though she could feel it getting stuck in her throat and laboriously moving past her lips.

'She can't see me like this.' Michonne kept thinking. She refused to allow her friend to see her so weak. She knew that Andrea would try to comfort her, to reach out in some way. That would be too much. If the other woman were to wrap her arms around her, and hold her, Michonne knew she wouldn't be able to hold back. All the pain and all the weakness would rush out and over her, suffocating her and making it impossible for her to put one foot in front of the other. 

There was a knock on the metal door. 

“Michonne? Are you ok?” The blonde sounded worried. Michonne pulled out a bandanna from her back pocket and wipes the wetness from her cheeks. 

“I'm fine. I'll be out in a second.” 

Her reflection in the mirror was painted with shadows. She'd have to avoid looking the other woman in the eye, otherwise she'd know that Michonne had been crying. The sunlight was too bright when she walked out of the bathroom, her eyes having adjusted to the dim light inside. She took the pets leashes in hand, and tugged them along. The blonde walked behind her thankfully. 

**

“You never flinch.” Andrea was out of breath. The shelter for the night, an abandoned storefront, had contained a few walkers. They'd dispatched them in tandem, Michonne wielding her sword, and Andrea with a baseball bat she'd picked up days earlier. It was cracked in half now from connecting with too many skulls. 

“Can't afford to.” Michonne cleaned off her weapon and sheathed it. 

**

The sleeping bags offered barely any comfort on the hard floor, but both of the women were used to it. The pets shuffled and bumped against each other in the front of the store. They'd decided to camp down in the back office. Staying hidden was a virtue. Neither Andrea or Michonne were sleeping, but neither was saying anything. Michonne could hear the distant scratching of vermin within the walls of the building. 

“Maybe that's what's going to be the dominant species now.” She mumbled against the pack that was serving as her pillow. 

“What's that?” Andrea turned her head towards the other woman.

“Mice and rats. Maybe this is our extinction event, and the beginning of their rise to power.”

“So instead of 'Planet Of The Apes' it's gonna be planet of the rats?” Andrea joked.

Michonne cracked a smile. “A planet where rats evolved from men?” Her Charlton Heston impression wasn't very good, but Andrea laughed anyways, and shot back at her.

“Get yer filthy paws off of me you damn dirty rat.” Her impression was much more accurate, and it made the other woman giggle. 

“Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before.” Andrea was still looking at her, smiling now. 

“Nothing much to laugh about.” Michonne tried to compose herself, but the laughter and the blonde's gaze was making her feel not so strong.

“True. But it's still important to laugh, even in the face of horrible things. It's good for your mental state. You can't be serious all the time.” She paused, the silence sounding much longer than it actually was. “You don't have to be strong all the time.”

Michonne didn't say anything, and the blonde kept talking.

“I see you try to be strong and tough all the time, and you are, but...” Andrea rolled on to her side, and looked at the woman laying by her side. “...you can be weak too. I won't think any less of you.” She reached out and touched Michonne's arm. Her hand was cold. Even inside the building, there was little protection from the cold winter air. 

“It's ok to be weak.” Andrea's voice was full of sweetness. Michonne looked up at her. The air between them felt like it was full of dust dancing in the sunlight. Hazy, and weirdly beautiful. The blonde scooted closer, and pressed a kiss against Michonne's cheek. 

“What was that for?” Her heart was beating so hard, and Andrea was so close, and felt warm in the cold of the room.

“You looked like you might've needed it.” She wasn't moving away, and Michonne wasn't about to push her away. “And I wanted to do it. Was it not ok?”

Michonne shook her head. “It's fine.” It was the finest thing she'd felt since losing everything that had kept her alive, since she'd decided the only thing she would ever again allow herself was to survive, and that she could do it without feeling another person's caring.

“Do you mind if we cuddle? It's cold, and it's good psychologically for people to do that. It releases endorphins, or is it serotonin? I don't remember.” 

“Sure.” Andrea snaked her arm around her and pulled her in. Michonne rested her head in the crook of the blonde's neck. Their bodies pressed closer, despite being restrained by their sleeping bags. It felt like a mistake, but it was one that was too good not to make. 

“You're amazing Michonne.” Andrea whispered, nuzzling the other woman's dreadlocks. 

“I'm-” Those words were making her crack, and breathing was difficult. The blonde smelled like dirt, sweat, and unwashed clothes, and it kept her breathing. 

“Please. Just take the compliment, ok?” Andrea shifted so her face was in front of Michonne's. “Please?” 

Grief and pain were looming above her, so Michonne did the only thing she could think of to keep herself from being crushed by them. She kissed Andrea. The blonde's lips were dry and chapped from the winter air, but they were the most comforting thing. Then she kissed Michonne back, and the tip of her tongue touched Michonne's lips delicately.

That small touch made her fall apart. To Andrea's credit, she didn't say anything. She just held Michonne in her arms while she wept for everything she'd lost and everything she'd witnessed. When the other woman stopped shaking, Andrea reached for her pack and dug out her canteen. Michonne sat up and sipped at it, the cold water easing the throbbing in her head from the crying. Andrea just stroked her back, her touch comforting and soothing. When she laid back down, she gave the blonde small, sweet, thankful kisses. They rocked each other to sleep in that way, making each other feel calm and safe. 

**

The office had a small window close to the ceiling. Warm light streamed in, particles of dust visible within it dancing on invisible currents. They woke up still curled up against each other. For a moment they were able to forget everything except the joy of being in that moment, in the honey light and the warmth of each other.. 

“When you need to be weak I'll be strong for you.” Andrea murmured, and punctuated her statement with a soft kiss, her lips lingering against Michonne's. 

Michonne put her fingers through Andrea's, and squeezed her hand. Even though she'd let herself bow and give in, she still could see herself putting one foot in front of the other. She'd keep going, and when she felt like she couldn't, Andrea would be there to hold her up.


End file.
